[ A journal entry. ]
Right now, I'm sitting on the beach in St. Petersburg Florida.
Let's take that in.
I'm watching the waves break and rush on shore. I'm watching little boys and little girls build sand castles. I've got iTunes blasting Kris Allen and Justin Timberlake through my earbuds. I'm sipping on a Trenta Berry Refresher and chomping on a slice of Lemon Pound Cake from Starbucks. Like I said, I'm sitting on the beach!
The sun is the right kind of hot.
The wind is blowing.
Just a typical paradise atmosphere.
I wanted to take in this moment.
It's the combination of a really hard season. A season of really hard work. A ton of really hard lessons. A season of balancing all versions of me, The husband, the friend, the communications director, the consultant, the blogger, the mentor, the coordinator, etc. I've been juggling a lot of things this season.
...I wrote and released my first e-book, The Heartbeat System. I carried that project in my soul for so long. I labored. I toiled. I agonized over it. And when it was lunch week, I had nightmares. I thought it wouldn't happen. I thought of that failed before it even went public. I was worried.
But it went fine.
It was successful in all the areas I was hoping it would be.
And now I'm sitting on the beach.
Taking time for me.
I used to be the guy who would feel uncomfortable taking breaks, vacations, etc. I felt like I needed to prove to people that I was a "beast". I could outpace, out-work, out-perform, out-produce everyone! I thought it's what made me valuable. I felt that people wanted me around because they knew I could take care of things. I'd get it all done. And when I took time off, I felt like I was letting everyone down -- as if their world rose and fell based on my presence. (haha!)
I've grown up.
I've realize that I'm at my best and better for everyone when I take time to rest -- when I take time to be rejuvenated. My relationships are better. My work ethic better. What I can produce is more inspired. My ideas have more clarity. What I touch is elevated because I operate out of a place of rest.
I get filled up when I get to retreat away -- from everyone and be in a space I can own. I don't have to be anyone's anyone. I am here just for me and to be me.
So I'm at the beach.
I'm watching waves crash on shore.
I'm embracing the wind rip up the sand.
I am on the beach creating a moment just for me.
God and his creation, my companions.
The horizon my limit of possibilities.
P.s. I filmed a video on the beach sharing more of my personal struggle with resting and I'm sending it out to everyone on my VIP list tomorrow. Are you on it?